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Episode 006: Relationship

Transcript from Stirred By Words Episode 006: Relationship

Chrissy Holm (00:05):

Do you love words? Are you passionate about diving into meaningful conversations? Hi. Welcome to Stirred By Words, a podcast that focuses on words and questions that impact our daily lives. I'm your host, Chrissy Holm, health educator, writer, curious creature, and now podcaster.

Chrissy Holm (00:42):

Today, we'll start with a health tip. This week it's active listening. Many of you may know this term and some of you may not, but active listening is really making a conscious effort to hear, understand and retain information that's being relayed to you, and is more than just listening to words. I know I could do a whole podcast episode diving into what skills it takes and how to improve them, but I'm going to sum it up just using a quick acronym, LOVE, love. So listen and be attentive, open-ended questions and clarifications, validations and reflections, empathize and summarize.

Chrissy Holm (01:23):

That leads me into well, what are the benefits? Active listening is going to help build trust and strong relationships. It can help you resolve conflict. It prevents you from missing important information. It really enables you to identify or anticipate problems, and it helps you to build more self knowledge. When you have those tools in your toolbox to solve problems, you can have higher self-esteem and the ability to identify those stressors that trigger your negative emotions. That's going to ultimately lead to higher life satisfaction.

Chrissy Holm (02:02):

This week, I encourage you to share a little love and actively listen.

Chrissy Holm (02:18):

Now it's time for today's word; relationship. dictionary.com has four definitions. Number one, a connection association or involvement. Number two, a connection between persons by blood or marriage. Number three, an emotional or other connection between people. And number four, a sexual involvement or affair.

Chrissy Holm (02:45):

Fun fact: The word "relationship" was first recorded in 1735. And some of the words that are related to relationship are accord, affair, communication, contact, marriage, rapport, alliance, and bond.

Chrissy Holm (03:02):

Today's question that I'm pondering is what do you look for in a relationship and why is that important to you? For me, I look out for several different things in a relationship, but the three that are top of my mind are honesty, willingness to grow and communication.

Chrissy Holm (03:18):

For honesty, I look for someone that I can be honest with, and they can be honest with me. A pet peeve of mine is when somebody's fake or not expressing their true feelings towards me. I always appreciate that direct and honest feedback. Even though it might be difficult to swallow, I'd rather have someone tell me the truth, which really leads me to my next thing that I look for in a relationship, which is a willingness to grow.

Chrissy Holm (03:45):

I'm a lifelong learner and one of my core values is growth. And when I find a partner that's always interested in becoming a better person, whether it's a significant other, brother or sister, friend, et cetera, I really value that drive and openness to change. Whether they're doing therapy, personal growth, a class, reading self-help or anything in between, it's always refreshing to know that somebody's willing to grow and not settle for mediocrity.

Chrissy Holm (04:15):

And the last thing that I look for in a relationship, communication. It's somebody that I can talk with about anything. Whether it's deep topics, such as social justice issues, society, the meaning of family, or lighter topics of plans for the day, or sharing random thoughts, I really need somebody that I can dive deep with and talk.

Chrissy Holm (04:37):

Another part of the communication is active listening, and I find that super important in a relationship. For example, if my husband, Scott and I are having an argument, we'll try to talk it out and actively listen to each other, to really share what's bothering us. We're far from perfect, but we always try to make sure that we are pausing whatever we're doing and actively listen to each other, especially if we're trying to work through an issue. I feel these things are important to me because if I can't be authentic with someone and they can't be authentic with me, then we're not meant to be in a relationship. Things are going to burn out. We're going to get exhausted trying to be somebody that we're not.

Chrissy Holm (05:22):